Relationship Problems

Relationship problems encompass a huge range of issues that depend on your situation. For example, you might be in a relationship or single. Since I offer relationship counselling for individuals, if you are in a relationship and your partner doesn’t wish to engage in couple's therapy, or you find it hard to make and keep friends, then perhaps I can help.

An explosive relationship conflict

Relationships are like people – they can become complicated, and there are different types of relationship problems.

The term includes marital difficulties, bullying, and a poor relationship with the world or yourself.

Often, outside pressures lead to either you or your partner having affairs.

In all cases though, counselling can help you to realise that there is something you can do to improve things, even if your other half does not wish to have counselling. In this case the only way forward involves you taking the initiative and seeing someone on your own.

In time you will be able to come back to who you really are and empower yourself without the fear of having confrontation, despite the problems you face now.

Other Issues

Other issues emerge with having relationship problems. For example, anxiety and low-self-esteem to name but two.

If it's a marital relationship, perhaps your partner blames you and will not enter couples counselling with you.

Blaming

If others say things like you are hard to get along with, or blame is being apportioned to someone, then here is a sign that personal responsibility is being shifted unfairly: after all, the way to overcome difficulties like this is to talk things through and work together, otherwise somebody will end up feeling hurt and lonely. So I say, forget about whose fault it is, let's talk about it openly so we can avoid the assumptions we make that keep us in the dark about what's really happening.

Links to other issues

Anxiety, particularly anxiety about yourself, is one way that relationship problems may arise: not feeling 'good enough' to stand up for yourself can lead to a sense of being 'steam-rollered' into accepting all the blame.

Depression would develop as you built up negative expectations of your behaviour, based on past experience.

Low self-esteem may result from memories of not looking after yourself.

Bad Habits

As your counsellor, I would notice and feed back to you the way you relate to myself and others so that knowing the impact your patterns of relating has, you can motivate yourself to find other ways of responding to your own feelings and the demands of others.

Habitual ways of thinking are often worth bringing to light in order for you to become more self-aware, and then, being more self-knowing and accepting, it is easier to act in more deliberate, less unconscious ways. After all, what has become habitual is probably automatic and therefore an unthinking reaction.

Inflamatory Language

I will help you to find other ways of negotiating with others that do not inflame situations, as it is often careless use of language that conveys additional meanings that others interpret differently to what you meant.

I aim to help you feel better about yourself, take responsibility for what is your's and stop others holding you responsible for their stuff.

Can I Help?

I will provide a safe space where you can share your burden and then start to listen more deeply to what's going on inside. I will encourage you to start to take better care of your unmet needs so you can get strong again.

Couple holding hands

If you have concluded it is your behaviour that is at fault, I will help you to understand why you behaved in this way and encourage you to take a fresh look at who you are so you can decide on how your future will look.

Recovery

It takes a while to work through relationship problems, particularly if it is you who are being unfairly treated, but I will listen to your story and reflect back to you what I am picking up with respect for you and in an impartial way so you can make the changes you need to build bridges, not burn them!