Counselling for Men Living Close to The Edge

So many men get a bad rap because we don’t know what’s expected of us

If you’re looking for men’s counselling, perhaps I can help. I am a male counsellor of mature years and life experience, and I hope you will book a consultation to see if we can work together on your concerns.

Counselling for men helps them deal with changing social expectations and develop the tools of empathic understanding needed to maintain healthy relationships. Typically, that involves them talking to a male counsellor.

The Goalposts Got Moved

Have you noticed how the things you were praised for as a young man now mean you are judged negatively? Me too. 

“It’s as if somebody changed the goalposts and never told you.”

I remember when going out and sinking more pints of beer than was good for you was seen as a rite of passage into manhood. However, now, that type of behaviour is looked down on. Other types of behaviour we’re suddenly meant to drop like a hot potato include chasing women, getting into fights, and being in charge of the household.

These days, if we subscribe to the above, we’re seen as misogynistic, wild, or controlling. What can we do to be accepted and still be ourselves?

Men’s Conditioning is Lacking

Did you also notice that when you had been married for a while, you found it harder to relate to your spouse? Her hormonal changes impact both your psychological connection and physical intimacy, and this is particularly hard if you’re still sexually active and that’s felt as a strong urge in you.

More likely, you might also be expected to stop solving problems and become an empathic listening ear for others. How hard that is if your job and conditioning only train you to use your rational, problem-solving left brain.

Men’s Mental Health

There are several problem behaviours you can develop if your masculinity is allowed free reign. Do any of these issues still figure in your life?

  • Porn
  • Sex addiction
  • Heavy drinking
  • Anger
  • Feeling powerless

Any of these issues, and others too, may arise because you are still trying to live up to the expectations of your youth. It may even lead you into bouts of depression and anxiety as you may feel you have failed or feel lonely because objectifying women led you to lose the ability to enjoy intimacy.

It’s Not Shameful to Ask for Help

I understand we’re supposed to be strong and have everything figured out. However, letting go of old behaviour patterns makes sense if they no longer work for you.

And sadly, I’ve worked with so many men who have come to me far too late to save their relationships. Years of denial can mean you’ve desensitised yourself to your partner’s signals and only seek counselling for men when the lady has long ago given up on you.

I dearly hope that is not the case with you.

Let’s See What We Can Do

You’re likely seeking help because you keep getting triggered. This means that the pressure to be someone other than yourself is bottled up inside you, and then it gets released in those moments of overwhelm when it looks as if everything’s about to go wrong.

If you try a consultation with me, I will listen as you give an overview of your situation and concerns. Then, we can work together to find out what’s working as a starting point and unpack your particular trigger points to reduce the intensity of feelings that overwhelm you. 

If you keep going when it gets tough, you should begin to feel different because you no longer get triggered and have learned to manage your emotions.

It Can Be So Worth It

Working with a male counsellor is not that hard. However, the kind of personal growth needed takes time because it’s natural and more permanent than training yourself to use a simple technique.

The results should speak for themselves. You and your family will be much closer, and together, you should be that much stronger for having worked through the hard times.

Just think how you’d like your future to look! 

Main image by courtesy of Unsplash